Beard - Dec 2001 to 2008

I tried growing a beard in 1986. It was pretty much a hair beard. It never turned into stiff, dense whiskers characteristic of the beard I fully expected when I started. I felt like a 15 year old kid with about 10 long hairs on his face. Even after a month, these individual, sparse hairs never coalesced into that bushy wire brush look. Finally, after another month, I realized my gift was something other than beard growing and shaved.

My next attempt was over the winter break of December 2001. I gave it about six days. I sculpted it as one of those mustache/goteagues so popular these days. Neither that style nor beards themselves are my style. In fact, when in public, I became embarassed about it both for my seemingly trend-following attempt to grow one and for my pathetic ability to do so. Its gone now.

So believing that the go-teague didn't fit my traditional personality and knowing that I had another couple of years post puberty, I thought I'd try again. Here I am, in December 2003, this time with a full facial attempt. This is after about seven days. Given you have a display resolution over 1600x1384, you may be able to pick out a face hair or two.

If you still can't make it out, here's a close-up. You can just barely make out a couple of individual little hairs (I'd consider them "whiskers").

This is my latest attempt - December 2006. For this one, I had to go into a well lit area so as to not damage my face or the house with the chainsaw.

So its pretty clear by now that a facial forestI'm not. My dreams of using a chainsaw for shaving and shredding babies' skin will never come true. So maybe a more subtle attempt . . . one that doesn't showcase my fundamental weakness. For December 2008 . . . A Soul Patch.